Woman calls upon her god for redress

The Director of Women and Gender Studies at the College of Brockport has revealed her radical position on gun control - and, more interestingly, a strange faith in the totemic qualities of place mats:

During his 2008 presidential campaign, my two daughters, partner, and I ate every meal in our house on Obama placemats. We bought these at our local supermarket, plastic-coated, plate-sized paper rectangles with an image of his face framed by colors of the flag. While politically minded, I am not overly patriotic, so this mealtime ritual of American allegiance was odd for me. Still, we looked at the image of his face each day and we believed that he really could be the change in America.

This person is a classic example of what psychological experts refer to, in precise scientific terminology, as a "dumb ass". You can almost visualize her willing Obama to flap his ears and create a mighty wind to blow down the factories of Ruger, Smith & Wesson and Mossberg.

Perhaps a smidgen of orthodox theology would enlighten her: "Put not your trust in princes, nor in the son of man, in whom there is no help. His breath goeth forth, he returneth to his earth; in that very day his thoughts perish." [Psalm 146: 3-4]

Update: Of course, I would criticize her, wouldn't I? I mean, bein' white and poorly educated an' all.