Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Woman calls upon her god for redress

The Director of Women and Gender Studies at the College of Brockport has revealed her radical position on gun control - and, more interestingly, a strange faith in the totemic qualities of place mats:
During his 2008 presidential campaign, my two daughters, partner, and I ate every meal in our house on Obama placemats. We bought these at our local supermarket, plastic-coated, plate-sized paper rectangles with an image of his face framed by colors of the flag. While politically minded, I am not overly patriotic, so this mealtime ritual of American allegiance was odd for me. Still, we looked at the image of his face each day and we believed that he really could be the change in America.
This person is a classic example of what psychological experts refer to, in precise scientific terminology, as a "dumb ass". You can almost visualize her willing Obama to flap his ears and create a mighty wind to blow down the factories of Ruger, Smith & Wesson and Mossberg.

Perhaps a smidgen of orthodox theology would enlighten her: "Put not your trust in princes, nor in the son of man, in whom there is no help. His breath goeth forth, he returneth to his earth; in that very day his thoughts perish." [Psalm 146: 3-4]

Update: Of course, I would criticize her, wouldn't I? I mean, bein' white and poorly educated an' all.

7 comments:

bruce said...

It's all very let-them-eat-cake-ish too.

I figured out that a major difference with Australia is how your Native Americans were armed and our Aborigines always preferred spears (which they were quite deadly with, if you were silhouetted against a campfire). Guns weren't much use in colonising Australia, mostly used against foxes. Then we're surrounded by water. We're as different from you as say Sweden. Different history evolves different needs. "Change" doesn't happen in a vacuum.

Mike_W said...

"You can almost visualize her willing Obama to flap his ears and create a mighty wind to blow down the factories of Ruger, Smith & Wesson and Mossberg."

Haha :)
Comedy gold.

rinardman said...

Over the next month, far more than nine people will lose their lives to gun violence.

Over the next month, far more than nine people will lose their lives to alcohol.

Is a family being wiped out by a drunk driver somehow less abhorrent to these people than multiple people wiped out by a lunatic with a gun? And drunk drivers are far more common than lunatics with guns. I've never understood why they single out guns as the overarching evil they make them out to be.

Deborah said...

Those placemats are inspirational alright...to weight loss.

Rman, guns are icky. Cars are necessary evils. Alcoholic beverages are good because they're natural.

"Women and Gender Studies" was confusing until I realized that women are special. But isn't it a demonstration of inequality?

bruce said...

My wife comes from Trinidad where the murder rate is sky-high. She even remembers a mass killing by a ganja-crazed Rastaman, who went down a street stabbing everyone. It's not just all about guns or "whites".

RebeccaH said...

If I had to eat every meal looking at Obama's face, I'd probably starve to death.

Paco said...

Haw! Better than Weight Watchers!