Wednesday, May 30, 2018

The Onion is now obsolete

Yet another piece of multi-culti stupidity out of Not-So-Great-Britain: "London cyclists too white, male and middle class, says capital's cycling chief in vow to tackle diversity 'problem'".

Yes, that's right. London has a "cycling commissioner". And there's a "problem" (you knew there had to be):
Too few women and people from ethnic minority groups cycle in London and more must be done to promote diversity among a largely white, male and middle class biking community, the city’s walking and cycling commissioner has said.
I suppose you could force white men off of their bicycles at gun-point (or perhaps "baton-point", since this is gun-phobic England, after all) and hand the bicycles over to women and favored minorities. But can these people be compelled to ride them? I know: threaten them with "breaching the peace" if they refuse to start riding.

The next big problem: how to get over the hazard of burkhas getting tangled up in the pedals.

12 comments:

Deborah said...

Paco, old boy, there is no hazard as women are forbidden to ride bicycles. It is an offence to Allah.

Paco said...

Well, then, they really do have a problem. The cycling commissioner wants more women and minorities, the Muslim men don't want their women gadding about in public on bicycles, certainly not without being fully covered. Not sure how they'll solve this dilemma.

RebeccaH said...

Phooey. Instead of worrying about too many white people on bicycles, they should be outfitting said bicycles with acid shields.

Deborah said...

Leotards to cover those ankles and legs. As for the burkhas, a Bridal Buddy, dyed black, of course, will solve that.

rinardman said...

I must be terribly stupid! For the life of me, I can't figure out why this "cycling commish" sees a problem with the racial, gender (or any other category), composition of people riding bicycles in London.

Are the riders paid, or do they receive some government benefits, for riding a bicycle? If not, then what difference does it make who rides, and who doesn't?

Yeah, I'm not smart enough to be a liberal.

Deborah said...

"London cyclists too white, male and middle class,..."

So do prospective cyclists have to pass background checks that include their financial records? Is White males, or middle class charged higher prices for bicycles? What if you are White male who isn't middle class?

HAL9000 said...

Why does a Commissioner for Cycling and Walking exist at all?

Paco said...

Well, they have Commissioners for Longevity (otherwise known as the National Health Service).

steve at the pub said...

Any truth to the story that the contract for administration of this scheme to get whitey males off their bike, and minorities and women riding, had been awarded to a recently registered firm named thePedestrian And Cycle Organisation?
(Motto: Profits Ahead of Cyclists Opinions)

Unhappy with the rapaciousness of this government monopoly supplier?

Simply contact the recently appointed Pennyfarthing And Cycling Ombudsman, who will handle your complaint in an impartial manner.

Paco said...

Yessirree, one of our very profitable non-profit groups!

Mike_W said...

Haha; that was very clever, steve.

Paco said...

Mike: Steve's way better at that than I am.