Thursday, October 4, 2018

Recall notice

Tom Perez
Chairman, Democratic National Committee
Washington, DC

Dear Mr. Perez:

Paco Enterprises' subsidiary, Progressive Anti-Conservative Ordnance, Inc., has issued a recall notice for the "Smear Gun One", which was recently purchased in mass quantities by your organization and deployed, most recently, during the hearings on Brett Kavanaugh's nomination to the U.S. Supreme Court. It has come to our attention that the items in question were inadvertently manufactured and shipped with U-shaped barrels, thus yielding results somewhat at odds with expectations.

As you will no doubt recall reading in the warranty, the Smear Gun One is sold as is, without representations concerning effectiveness; therefore, we regret that we cannot offer a refund. The extent of our recall responsibilities goes no farther than to encourage you to return the items at your own expense in order to get them out of your way. We will be sending you, however, a beautifully engraved certificate with the words, "Our bad!", suitable for framing (for the low, low price of $59.99, we will include a faux-hardwood frame with faux gilt).

Hoping to be able to serve your fine organization again in the near future, I remain,

Sincerely yours,

P. A. Cosgrove-O'Sullivan
Vice President, Sales and Returns More Sales


rinardman said...

I knew they had been busy shooting themselves in the foot, but I didn't know it was because of a manufacturing error.

I just assumed it was because they're clueless idiots. They probably didn't even read the operator's manual to know how it was supposed to work.

RebeccaH said...

It was an honest mistake, Mr. Paco sir. Honest.

P.S. I don't think we should recall them. Some of the users don't seem to notice anyway.

Minion of Manufacturing

bruce said...

Wascally wabbit.

Mike_W said...

Lol, Paco.
You are in stellar form.