Hello-o-o-o, ladies!
Yeah, but did he call the pocket? (H/T: David Thompson)
Trump And Biden Agree To A Socially Distanced Debate Using Soup Can Telephones
1.
Save all bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
2.
If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab
of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be
along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way.
This is what they live for.
3. Remember: "Y'all" is
singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is
plural possessive.
4. Get used to the phrase "It's not the
heat, it's the humidity". And the collateral phrase "You
call this hot? Wait'll August."
5. Don't tell us how you did
it up there. Nobody cares.
6. If you think it's too hot, don't
worry. It'll cool down-in December.
7. A Mercedes-Benz is not a
status symbol; a Chevy, Dodge, or Ford is.
8. If someone says
they're "fixin" to do something, that doesn't mean
anything's broken.
9. The value of a parking space is not
determined by the distance to the door, but the availability of
shade.
10. If you are driving a slower moving vehicle, on a two
lane road pull onto the shoulder; that is called "courtesy".
11.
BBQ is a food group. It does NOT mean grilling burgers and hot dogs
outdoors.
12. Yes, weddings, funerals, and divorces must take into
account for UGA Football
games.(“Go Dawgs!")
13.
Everything is better with Ranch dressing.
14. DO NOT honk your
horn at us to be obnoxious, we will sit there until we die.
15. We
pull over and stop for emergency vehicles to pass.
16. We pull
over for funeral processions, turn our music off and men remove hats
or caps. Some people put their hand over their heart.
17. "Bless
your Heart" is a nice way of saying you're an idiot.
18. No
matter what kind : sprite, coke, pepsi, mtn dew, it isn't called soda
or pop. It is all called coke.
19. There will always be a tractor
on the two lane when you are running late, so allow time for
that.
20. If you don't like the weather in Georgia, wait 15
minutes, it will change.
From the Georgia rules:
ReplyDelete9. The value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but the availability of shade.
It is EXACTLY the same here in the SoCal high desert (except at Walmart, where there is never "shade").
It's always been my rule wherever I lived (at least in the summertime).
ReplyDeleteOur Walmart has, I believe, exactly one space that has a little bit of shade - well away from the entrance, and always occupied.
This cafe here sells grilled stuff on rolls with this white sauce like mayonaise (but isn't) which has a hint of grilled onion and herbs. Must be Ranch Dressing I think. The owners have links to Tennessee. It's very popular because it's unique here. Always wondered what that sauce was.
ReplyDelete"Hello-o-o-o, ladies!"
ReplyDeleteHaha
The 70s were pretty awful.
Even as a kid growing up in the 70s I knew the 70s were awful.
Remember Billy Jack?
bruce, ranch dressing is supposed to be used on a salad, but it's good enough that people find other ways to enjoy it. I make a sandwich with a southern style chicken tender, cheese, and lot's of ranch dressing on a couple slices of lightly toasted Italian bread that's pretty tasty.
ReplyDeleteI had just started my first year of college when Billy Jack hit the local theater. It was the talk of the campus, and I'll admit I kind of liked it, too. Mainly because of the fight scenes. But, when the sequel came along, I began to see the error of my ways. Yes, looking back, the 70's were weird, but at the time it was just what the world was, and I never considered that it was anything but normal.
Those Georgia rules are the same in Texas. One of the bugaboos of my life has been people (usually actors) who try to mimic a southern accent and say "You all" instead of "Y'all". Or address one person with "y'all".
ReplyDeleteRebecca: Absolutely right. Nobody uses "y'all" when addressing one person (the list is wrong about that being the singular form of address). "Y'all is like two or three people, "all y'all" is more than three.
ReplyDeleteBruce et al: My elder son clued me in to the secret of his delicious grilled hamburgers, and it's to sprinkle dried ranch dressing from a bag on top of the burgers. It's great seasoning.
Mike: Haw! The seventies were something else when it came to style. Ain't never goin' back.
R-man: I kind of liked Billy Jack, too. I especially liked that the local lawman was a decent fellow, not some cartoon bigot. And the fight scenes were cool; it's always good to see bullies get their comeuppance.
That J.C. Penny picture looks like a still from a period cop show. In the seventies only porn stars and cops had 'staches like those. And porn stars lacked the flashy style your basic TV cop had.
ReplyDeleteI remember when ranch dressing first came on the scene (seventies, as well) and you couldn't get it in bottles. You bought the packet, and it said "Hidden Valley" on it, and you mixed it with equal parts mayo and buttermilk. The ads on TV were narrated by Sally Kellerman IIRC. For some reason her sultry voice was the perfect accompaniment to ranch dressing.
Speaking of "y'all," female SJWs seem to use it universally, at least on the Twitsters. It's invariably used when hectoring, typically of white people.
ReplyDeleteOr wypipo, as the kids say. Anyway, when you see a feminist SJW tossing it out, be certain there is a devastating putdown to follow.
Paco, I also use powdered ranch dressing in beef stews and my slow cooker beans and ham. It is good seasoning.
ReplyDelete