Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Amen!

I have always detested business meetings, not only because they tend to be characterized by rambling, disorganized thinking, but also by the maddening use of stale jargon. Here's a list of words and phrases that, when used at Paco Enterprises board meetings, are likely to trigger the opening of a trap door under the offender.
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12 comments:

  1. richard mcenroeJanuary 31, 2012 at 10:36 AM

    I think you need to think outside the box in terms of effectuating a sustainable multi-perspective interactive context...

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  2. JeffSJanuary 31, 2012 at 10:37 AM

    I'm familiar with too many of those phrases.

    WAY too familiar.

    TW: mister. Yes, I am a mister. So what?

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  3. RebeccaHJanuary 31, 2012 at 11:15 AM

    My daughter says "It is what it is" all the time. Drives me nuts.

    wv: redlexl - sounds like some kind of sporty red car

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  4. PacoJanuary 31, 2012 at 2:22 PM

    Rebecca: I have an employee who says the same thing. I always feel the urge to tell her, "well, it ought to be something else."

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  5. richard mcenroeJanuary 31, 2012 at 3:02 PM

    "It is what it is."

    "And tomorrow it's gonna be what I say it better be, if it knows what's good for it." -- Chuck Norris

    "It is what it is, but wait a few years and I'll rewrite it." -- Newt Gingrich

    "It's mine, is what it is. I paid for it." -- Mitt Romney

    "It's the Jews' but they won't admit it!" -- Ron Paul

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  6. Bob BelvedereJanuary 31, 2012 at 5:33 PM

    'Metrics' drives me to the point of murder.

    I just got put on a committee of twenty that will redesign a government website and I have no doubt many of the terms you linked will be bandied about. The moist used will be 'metrics'.

    Arrgghhh!!!!!

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  7. richard mcenroeJanuary 31, 2012 at 7:55 PM

    "Synergistic metrics."

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  8. El CidJanuary 31, 2012 at 8:41 PM

    Paco, you need to reach out and appeal to her core competency.

    Empower this person, with a robust speech. Think outside the box, as an example, tell her to open the kimono as you have noticed lots of moving parts.

    When the HR S.W.A.T. team arrives, just tell them you voted for Obama. It's called a punt.

    I find this the best practice.

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  9. PacoJanuary 31, 2012 at 9:52 PM

    El C.: I now feel like I don't ever have to attend another meeting!

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  10. mojoJanuary 31, 2012 at 10:07 PM

    Oh, is the incinerator fixed?

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  11. TimTJanuary 31, 2012 at 11:05 PM

    Paco, you ought to get a kick out of this parody of business jargon written by a friend of mine.

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  12. PacoFebruary 1, 2012 at 6:32 AM

    Tim: My head's spinning!

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