Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Amen!

I have always detested business meetings, not only because they tend to be characterized by rambling, disorganized thinking, but also by the maddening use of stale jargon. Here's a list of words and phrases that, when used at Paco Enterprises board meetings, are likely to trigger the opening of a trap door under the offender.

12 comments:

richard mcenroe said...

I think you need to think outside the box in terms of effectuating a sustainable multi-perspective interactive context...

JeffS said...

I'm familiar with too many of those phrases.

WAY too familiar.

TW: mister. Yes, I am a mister. So what?

RebeccaH said...

My daughter says "It is what it is" all the time. Drives me nuts.

wv: redlexl - sounds like some kind of sporty red car

Paco said...

Rebecca: I have an employee who says the same thing. I always feel the urge to tell her, "well, it ought to be something else."

richard mcenroe said...

"It is what it is."

"And tomorrow it's gonna be what I say it better be, if it knows what's good for it." -- Chuck Norris

"It is what it is, but wait a few years and I'll rewrite it." -- Newt Gingrich

"It's mine, is what it is. I paid for it." -- Mitt Romney

"It's the Jews' but they won't admit it!" -- Ron Paul

Bob Belvedere said...

'Metrics' drives me to the point of murder.

I just got put on a committee of twenty that will redesign a government website and I have no doubt many of the terms you linked will be bandied about. The moist used will be 'metrics'.

Arrgghhh!!!!!

richard mcenroe said...

"Synergistic metrics."

El Cid said...

Paco, you need to reach out and appeal to her core competency.

Empower this person, with a robust speech. Think outside the box, as an example, tell her to open the kimono as you have noticed lots of moving parts.

When the HR S.W.A.T. team arrives, just tell them you voted for Obama. It's called a punt.

I find this the best practice.

Paco said...

El C.: I now feel like I don't ever have to attend another meeting!

mojo said...

Oh, is the incinerator fixed?

TimT said...

Paco, you ought to get a kick out of this parody of business jargon written by a friend of mine.

Paco said...

Tim: My head's spinning!