I am home today, sick as can be. After an exhaustive analysis of my symptoms, and a comprehensive search of case studies at the web site for the National Institutes of Health, I rejected some of the preliminary diagnoses, which included diphtheria, the West Indian dry gripes, and Ondine’s curse, and settled on the common cold.
I rarely get colds, which is why, when I do catch one, I find it particularly annoying. Clogged sinuses, head like a cast-iron door-stop. You know how it is. So, if my posts today turn out to be rubbish, just chalk it up to illness.
I mean, if they turn out to be more rubbishy than usual. For example, I saw a news item about the actress, Viola Davis, who won two Screen Actors’ Guild awards. I had no idea who she was until I read the article, but in a fit of completely irrelevant word association, I was suddenly seized by a desire to write a farcical story about a fictional rural cousin named Cello Hunneycutt.
See what I mean? Only a temporary abatement of my delirium prevented me from cobbling together some preposterous yarn and inflicting it on my unsuspecting readers.
Dang! Where’s the Vick’s vapor rub?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
You have my sympathies. I've just finished getting over a cold, but am dealing with an injured tendon. Yay!
ReplyDeleteStill, I prefer your delirium to the considered words of just about any politician. Get well soon!
enjoy a day of rest - and get well soon
ReplyDeleteHowza 'bout Cymbal Scales.
ReplyDeleteHere's a ROPer update to occupy some of your time. This is from yesterday morning on The Blaze. Seems an Afghan man strangled his wife to death because she delivered a girl instead of a boy.
Get well, Paco.
ReplyDeleteActually, Cello Hunneycutt sounds like an intriguing character: a West Virginian librarian, or something.
Have you considered a soothing tonic, Paco?
ReplyDeleteWith plenty of ice, of course....
he will need lots of lime with that tonic - you know vitamin c and all.
ReplyDeleteI do not presently have the makings, but my favorite cold remedy was always a cup of hot tea with a large splash of Southern Comfort and a little lime juice. A friend of mine modestly dubbed it the Gastrointestinal Delight of the Orient.
ReplyDeletePoe wrote some of his best work while under the influence.
ReplyDeleteGet well soon, Candidate Paco: I don't know what we'd do if you had to drop out of the race.
Remedy: 1/3 cup of hot tea [Earl Gray], 1/3 cup of warmed bourbon, 1 tablespoon of honey.
"Chel-o" or "Cell-o"?
ReplyDeleteIt's important.
Mojo: cello.
ReplyDeleteVicks doesn't cure, of course, but it does give comfort and a feeling that somebody cares about you even if it is only a distant corporation. I was surprised to learn that Vicks is owned by Procter & Gamble.
ReplyDelete