Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Laid low

I am home today, sick as can be. After an exhaustive analysis of my symptoms, and a comprehensive search of case studies at the web site for the National Institutes of Health, I rejected some of the preliminary diagnoses, which included diphtheria, the West Indian dry gripes, and Ondine’s curse, and settled on the common cold.

I rarely get colds, which is why, when I do catch one, I find it particularly annoying. Clogged sinuses, head like a cast-iron door-stop. You know how it is. So, if my posts today turn out to be rubbish, just chalk it up to illness.

I mean, if they turn out to be more rubbishy than usual. For example, I saw a news item about the actress, Viola Davis, who won two Screen Actors’ Guild awards. I had no idea who she was until I read the article, but in a fit of completely irrelevant word association, I was suddenly seized by a desire to write a farcical story about a fictional rural cousin named Cello Hunneycutt.

See what I mean? Only a temporary abatement of my delirium prevented me from cobbling together some preposterous yarn and inflicting it on my unsuspecting readers.

Dang! Where’s the Vick’s vapor rub?

11 comments:

JeffS said...

You have my sympathies. I've just finished getting over a cold, but am dealing with an injured tendon. Yay!

Still, I prefer your delirium to the considered words of just about any politician. Get well soon!

missred said...

enjoy a day of rest - and get well soon

Yojimbo said...

Howza 'bout Cymbal Scales.

Here's a ROPer update to occupy some of your time. This is from yesterday morning on The Blaze. Seems an Afghan man strangled his wife to death because she delivered a girl instead of a boy.

RebeccaH said...

Get well, Paco.

Actually, Cello Hunneycutt sounds like an intriguing character: a West Virginian librarian, or something.

JeffS said...

Have you considered a soothing tonic, Paco?

With plenty of ice, of course....

missred said...

he will need lots of lime with that tonic - you know vitamin c and all.

Paco said...

I do not presently have the makings, but my favorite cold remedy was always a cup of hot tea with a large splash of Southern Comfort and a little lime juice. A friend of mine modestly dubbed it the Gastrointestinal Delight of the Orient.

Bob Belvedere said...

Poe wrote some of his best work while under the influence.

Get well soon, Candidate Paco: I don't know what we'd do if you had to drop out of the race.

Remedy: 1/3 cup of hot tea [Earl Gray], 1/3 cup of warmed bourbon, 1 tablespoon of honey.

mojo said...

"Chel-o" or "Cell-o"?

It's important.

Paco said...

Mojo: cello.

Anonymous said...

Vicks doesn't cure, of course, but it does give comfort and a feeling that somebody cares about you even if it is only a distant corporation. I was surprised to learn that Vicks is owned by Procter & Gamble.