Tuesday, April 4, 2017

The Resistance abides!

I was standing by the flowerbed outside of my agency this afternoon, smoking a meditative cigarette, when I noticed a bundle of papers lying partially concealed among the daffodils. Extracting the papers from the flowers, I found them to be somewhat damp from the previous night's rain, but still in reasonably good shape. They turned out to be flyers issued by an outfit called Refuse Fascism, and it was clear from the language that the group sees Trump as Hitler - if anything, on an even larger scale of malevolence. Here is a photo of one of the flyers:

On the reverse, the manifesto has been helpfully translated into...Arabic:

There was another document in which the group's political stance was spelled out in all its gaudy left-wing paranoia. A sample:
Donald Trump and Mike Pence have assembled a vicious cabal that has put forth positions and begun initiatives which demonstrate that they fully intend to shred political and social norms with catastrophic consequence. Because Trump has his finger on the nuclear trigger, the Trump/Pence regime is more dangerous to the world than even Hitler.
In the context of ideology, this is mere childish twaddle, the sophomoric temper tantrum of parlor Marxists; however, somebody went to the trouble of composing and printing out this dreck, so I was curious as to why the building and nearby lamp posts and the few spindly trees in the vicinity weren't festooned with these flyers, which, instead, had been left to molder among the flowers. I began to speculate on what happened...

The previous night. Late. A light, drizzling rain is falling silently. Three shadowy figures turn the corner and halt not far from the entrance to a government building.

Anti-Fascist leader: "Ok, guys. Here are the flyers. Who's got the tape?"

Subordinate anti-Fascists, exchanging nervous glances: [Silence].

Leader: "You're kidding, right? Nobody brought tape? How about twist-ties? Thumbtacks? Chewing gum?"

A disembodied voice suddenly sounds in the darkness. "Hey, man, any of you got a coupla dollars?"

The three shadowy figures yelp in unison, and simultaneously jump in terrified surprise (inadvertently executing a clumsy but vigorous entrechat).

A homeless man materializes out of the gloom.

"Seriously, bruthuz, I'm gonna buy food. I don't wan'it for drugs o' nuthin' like dat."

Leader: "Damn! You startled us. Either of you guys have any money?"

Subordinate anti-Fascist #1: "No, I never carry cash. Not in DC, anyway."

Subordinate anti-Fascist #2: "All I've got is a coupon for a free drink at Five Guys. Here buddy, you can have that."

Leader: "Sorry, my friend, we're a little short right now, but we're working to make a better future for the oppressed masses. You understand?"

Homeless man: "Yeah, I get it. Someday you all gonna fix it so I can eat all the pork roast and mashed 'taters I want, but right now I gotta make do with a co-cola. Same damn thing with you comuniss ev'ry time." Shaking his head, the homeless man wanders off.

Leader: "Alright, he's gone. So how are we going to post these flyers?"

Subordinate anti-Fascist #1: "I've got some duct tape in my car."

Leader: "That would be the car we drove tonight? The one we parked at the Vienna Metro station, twelve miles from here? S**t, Justin, what good is that gonna do us?"

Subordinate anti-Fascist #2: "Look! Isn't that a police car coming this way?"

Deciding not to stand upon the order of his going, the Leader flings the flyers into the daffodils and all three men run across the street to the Metro station, in headlong flight from - as it turns out, a fellow driving a Domino's Pizza delivery car.

Yes, I can easily see the the thing going down that way. I mean, these people aren't exactly brimming with the courage and determination of the maquisards, now, are they?

But upon further reflection, there might be a more likely explanation. Perhaps an anti-Fascist provocateur paid a homeless person a few bucks to hand out the flyers, the guy pocketed the money and, as soon as his benefactor was out of sight, he just tossed the papers in the first convenient place he found.

Oh, and you can probably guess who's helping to finance Refuse Fascism: that would-be James Bond villain and bush league anti-Christ, George Soros. These are the same people who rioted at Berkeley when Trump-supporter Milo Yiannopoulos tried to stage an event.

As a matter of truth in labeling, maybe this outfit ought to call itself Rescue Fascism. I'm thinking of mailing the broadsides to Soros, with the observation that if be thinks he's going to get results out of these Keystone Kommies, he's out of his mind.


Mike_W said...

Hahaha, "entrechat"; comedy gold.

Although I reckon the alternative scenario rings true: the commies payed a down-and-outer $20 to distribute the flyers and he tossed them when the commissars were out of sight.

bruce said...

National Lampoon does The Resistance: Intrigue among the Daffodils.

Organising a new generation of Yippies is like herding cats, no doubt. Or cat-ladies.

rinardman said...

I'm not so sure it would have to be a down-and-outer. I could very easily imagine one of the KeyKoms themselves tossing them in the bushes, instead of...you know...actually having to do something that resembles work.

RebeccaH said...

Alternately, the Keystone Kommie looked at the flyers in his hand and said to himself: "F*****e, I just can't pretend to believe in this crap anymore. I'm going for a beer and some pizza."

Gregoryno6 said...

Way off topic, but a certain pin up princess is having her birthday today. And she's looking for the faces of 2018.
Cry ‘Blow out the candles!’ and let slip the messages of joy!

HAL9000 said...

I wonder what the Arabic says. Muslims must love fascism, most of their governments operate that way. In addition, Hitler is a hero to them, especially the Arabs, for his treatment of the Jews. Call Trump Hitler and many Arabs would smile. Their only complaint about old Schickelgruber is that dammit, he didn't kill enough Jews.

I wonder how lefties can call Trump Hitler with a straight face, considering he has a Jewish daughter, son-in-law, and grandchildren. Sure sign of an antisemite.

That so many of my fellow members of the tribe believe such nonsense is evidence that the idea of Jews having higher average intelligence than others is a myth.