Sunday, August 30, 2015

Sunday funnies

"Australian cyclist spooked by eerie kangaroo apocalypse".

The strange world of stock photos (1970s edition; The hair! The clothes! Never again!).

Come and get it!

Apparently these guys were unaware of the old military maxim: never volunteer.

Crazy, man! Rode the train the other day and saw this rare dish arm in arm with an absolutely void coupon.

No, seriously, come and get it!

Click to enlarge

Saturday, August 29, 2015

Friday, August 28, 2015

Happy Feet Friday

And I do mean happy feet: Chuck Berry in a live performance of Roll Over Beethoven.

Thursday, August 27, 2015

At least a jackass has a backbone

Tear-spigot, tan-in-a-can, Republican establishment invertebrate John Boehner called Ted Cruz a "jackass" at a fundraiser in Colorado.

Some attendees, at least, were not amused:
“I don’t think it’s terribly speaker-like, and I think it kind of goes against everything that Reagan ever said about disparaging Republicans,” said Ed MacArthur, the president of Native Excavating, who attended the fundraiser.
It's not terribly speaker-like because Boehner is a terrible speaker. He is either powerless - or, more likely, uninterested - in halting the growth of government and scaling back the government's role as a conduit for the flood of left-wing nostrums that are destroying our society, culture and economy. He's a tricycle among mountain bikes, a squirt gun among Colt .45's. a bubble-gum cigar among Montecristos. If conservatives are ultimately to be defeated, please, Lord, let our defeat at least occur honorably under the generalship of a fighting man (or woman), not contemptibly under the disingenuous plotting of this unscrupulous poseur.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Jeb, Jeb, Jeb...

I've already got enough reasons not to vote for you. Now you're just trying to piss me off.

Tell it, brother!

Charlie Daniels: "The courageous politicians that once championed this nation have been replaced, for the most part, by a breed of milksop, politically correct, scared of their own shadow, pushover, pathetic excuses for public servants who are supposed to be representing a constituency of citizens who have to live with the circumstances of their timid folly...You don’t even have the courage to face down an out of control president, even when he makes a deal with the devil... Don’t you bunch of timid capons even care what kind of world you’re leaving to your children and grandchildren, not to even mention the rest of us? Are you really party partisans before you’re parents and grandparents or even human beings?”

RIP, Alison Parker and Adam Ward

Our deepest sympathies are extended to the families and friends of the two WBDJ employees who were shot down in cold blood by a deranged creep in Roanoke, Virginia. And may God grant wounded survivor Vicki Gardner a speedy recovery.

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Illegal immigrants

Nothing if not innovative:
A rock band returning to Britain in their tour bus after performing in France found an illegal immigrant hidden in a guitar case.

Monday, August 24, 2015

When society breaks down

Residents of Detroit are keenly aware of who has the primary responsibility for their safety:
In a city plagued by chronic unemployment and crime and guarded by a dwindling police force, residents of Detroit are increasingly taking protection of themselves, their families and property into their own hands. Those who do so responsibly have the blessing and backing of Detroit Police Chief James Craig.

“When you look at the city of Detroit, we’re kind of leading the way in terms of urban areas with law-abiding citizens carrying guns,” Craig said recently.

Sunday, August 23, 2015

Sunday funnies

On getting out of a hole.

The "high-end toast scene"? Only in San Francisco...

For some reason, this fails to outrage me (H/T to Captain Heinrichs).

The answer to gun violence is surely gun free zones (also via Captain Heinrichs)...

And while we're on the subject of guns - and since Joe Biden seems to be inching closer to a run for the Democratic presidential nomination - it might be worthwhile to revisit the VP's opinion on the appropriate firearm for the gentle sex...

Let's see what's in the fridge.

I wonder if there's such a thing as U-Tow...


"Whoa! Joe Biden may actually run for president? What's wrong with this country!?!"

Friday, August 21, 2015

Oh, I have a few ideas

D.C. wants to honor the memory of late Mayor-Not-Quite-For-Life, Marion Barry, whose most famous accomplishment was getting arrested for possession of crack.
Ideas proposed by community members to honor Barry include, according to the Washington City Paper, building a statue of the former mayor in front of city hall, renaming a high school in his old neighborhood after him and even establishing a museum for him.
Let me hear some of your suggestions for a fitting permanent tribute to this great man. Here are a couple of mine:

A playground in the late mayor's neighborhood featuring equipment shaped like giant drug paraphernalia - a crack-pipe slide, for example, maybe a teeter-totter shaped like a bong.

Or perhaps someday, proud students will graduate from Bitch-Set-Me-Up High School.

You're welcome, Europe


One of the marines was apparently seriously injured. May God grant this righteous hero a full and quick recovery.

Update: Not Marines, after all, it seems - which makes this act of heroism even more impressive.

Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition

Church in Alabama sets up a "gun range ministry".

Happy Feet Friday

The Old Groaner performs "San Fernando Valley".

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Truth in advertising

Score one for Remington. The company wants you to know that their wipes are for firearms, not email servers.

Hey, if Trump's run for the presidency fizzles...

...maybe the next president can appoint him as ambassador to the Vatican.

Too funny to wait for the Sunday funnies

The Bad Lip Reading folks have dubbed the first 2015 Republican debate (among other things, we learn that Donald Trump has a pigeon named Lucas Don Velour; absurd, but somehow, just so...right).

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Trust but verify

Or, hell, why not let the Iranians do their own verification?
Iran will be allowed to use its own inspectors to investigate a site it has been accused of using to develop nuclear arms, operating under a secret agreement with the U.N. agency that normally carries out such work, according to a document seen by The Associated Press.
There is, of course, no grounds for trusting the Iranians at all; leaving verification to the "honor system" is madness.

One of Carly Fiorina's (many) gifts... her ability to articulate ideas in a clear, distinctive voice. Old Hollywood hand, Robert Avrech, comments on Carly's telegenic qualities, with some interesting silver screen context.

All the charm and charisma of a wet cat

Hillary conducted a short (a very short) Q&A session for reporters at an appearance in North Las Vegas yesterday, where she once again distinguished herself with a mixture of stonewalling, misdirection and a lame attempt at humor. RedState has the details.

Money quote: "Ominously, Clinton wore an orange jumpsuit to the event."

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Hillary's server problems now enter the realm of farce

Today's news brings us the report that one of Hillary's servers was managed by a mom and pop outfit, and that the server was located in a bathroom closet.

Kind of gives the expression "wiped clean" a whole new meaning. In any event, the FBI is going to try to retrieve some of the deleted files using an advanced cyber-intelligence tool...

Elsewhere in ClintonLand, today marks the 18th anniversary of the day that investigators finally dragged an admission out of Bill that he had, indeed, had a "physical relationship" with Monica Lewinsky (a/k/a "that woman").

Monday, August 17, 2015


FMJ or hollowpoints? An important consideration for those doing concealed carry.

Now the Left wants to use shame strategy to rid the country of guns (the only thing I'm ashamed of is that I haven't taken my Ruger Mini-14 to the range yet).

Wyatt Scott is running for Parliament in Canada. I know nothing about his politics (although he sounds kinda leftish), but his ad has got to be one of the most, er, memorable in the history of political ads.

I can't remember whether or not I linked this story before; well, if I did, here it is again: the story of a top secret WWII POW camp near Washington, DC.

So, let me get this straight. The chief Iranian guy John Kerry was negotiating with was the best man at his daughter's wedding?

Sure, why not? Film crew purposely stirs up a hive of killer bees (for some reason, I can't help pondering what would have happened if the crew had mistakenly worn zoot suits instead of bee-keeper outfits. "Yow! Let's trilly, buddy ghee!").

I have the darnedest time getting my granddaughter to stand still long enough to snap a picture - unless I bribe her with the promise of a cookie, then I get a glamour pose like this...

Monday movie

Kirk Douglas takes on a one-armed man in a bar room fight (from Lonely Are the Brave, Douglas's personal favorite of all his roles).

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Sunday funnies

Future Darwin Award gold medalist.

It's all about the marketing.

Beagles: the first line of defense against killer robots.

Just because a town can't afford to build streets doesn't mean it can't have traffic lights.

I knew this day was coming - and now I know the exact date...

Friday, August 14, 2015

Hillary may get some, er, real competition

Please, please let it happen.

Meanwhile, Joe Biden addresses a crowd of his natural constituents...

"With your support, I can win this thing!"


Happy Feet Friday

Erskine Hawkins, with Jimmy Mitchell on vocal, performs Don't Cry Baby.

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Bernie Sanders locks up the youth vote

He's hip, he's cool, he's, er, groovy.

(Nah, it ain't really him; but give Bernie a few minutes alone with a blunt, and you just know he'd get his freak on).

Too funny to wait for the Sunday funnies

Klintonerdämmerung (via Allahpundit at Hot Air).

Actor speaks out on Islamic extremism

Here's one actor who's willing to call a scimitar a scimitar:
“Lord of the Rings” actor John Rhys-Davies said Western inaction and political correctness in the face of Islamic terrorism threatens civilization as we know it.

“There is an extraordinary silence in the West,” the Welsh thespian observed on Adam Carolla’s podcast Monday. “Basically, Christianity in the Middle East and in Africa is being wiped out. I mean not just ideologically but physically, and people are being enslaved and killed because they are Christians. And your country and my country are doing nothing about it.”

Wednesday, August 12, 2015


The story of a medieval English sword with a perplexing inscription has been circulating around the web for the last week or so. The inscription, in gold lettering, reads, "+NDXOXCHWDRGHDXORVI+".

I am pleased to report that experts at Paco Enterprises' history and linguistics unit have deciphered this baffling group of letters. Following is a translation:

"Hold pointy end toward opponent".

What difference does it make?

The Justice Dept. has taken possession of Hillary's server, but what, really, are the odds that this scofflaw politician will suffer as a result of any negative findings? What I once said about Nancy Pelosi applies equally to Hillary: she'd have to burn down an abortion clinic owned by gay doctors while wearing a Sarah Palin t-shirt before either her supporters or the media or even the federal government would take any critical notice.

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

The dumbest thing you will read about today

And that includes any stories you may have read about the revolting Kardashian family.

Blake Neff at The Daily Caller catches one Rick Perlstein denigrating, not the banner of the Confederacy, but the POW/MIA flag (in Newsweek, that sad, intellectually emaciated relic of legacy journalism).


Another liberal Democrat hallucinates about occupying the White House: Harvard professor Larry Lessig.

New use for old product

Entrepreneurs in Australia have discovered a nobler purpose for Vegemite than simply smearing the stuff on toast: "The Australian government is warning that Vegemite — the salty yeast-based spread that's an iconic staple of the national diet — is being purchased in bulk quantities to produce moonshine in rural indigenous communities where alcohol is banned."

(Via Instapundit)

Monday, August 10, 2015


The suave and clever Smitty imagines some (highly realistic) entries from the Donald's diary.

Hard to disagree

Charles Murray says that our government is "irreparably broken".

Monday movie

Edward G. Robinson goes straight with the end of Prohibition in the 1938 gangster comedy, A Slight Case of Murder.

Sunday, August 9, 2015

Sunday funnies

Time, ladies and gentlemen.

A very clever poem.

The secret ingredients for a long life: cigarettes, bacon and booze (and possibly Dr. Pepper).

Selling Cornwall (click to enlarge)...

It lifts! It shapes! It makes you bullet proof!

Bigfoot sighting in North Carolina (Never mind. A close examination of the film indicates that it's just Elderly Relative B on his way to beat somebody's ass).

Friday, August 7, 2015

Happy Feet Friday

The great Cootie Williams and his orchestra, ably assisted by some Lindy Hoppers, perform Let's Keep Jumping.

Thursday, August 6, 2015

Home again, home again, jiggity jog

I have returned from a trip to North Carolina, where I paid a visit to the homeland of the Paco clan. A couple of interesting developments:

The caregiver for Elderly Relative A claimed that Elderly Relative A's brother - let us call him Elderly Relative B - stole $1200 in cash from a drawer in Elderly Relative A's night table. Elderly Relative A, convinced of the truth of the accusation based on no evidence at all (except, perhaps, for the highly prejudicial historical antecedents of Elderly Relative B's excessive fondness for writing rubber checks throughout most of his adult life), noised it about that his brother was a thief. Elderly Relative B, eventually hearing the gossip, was outraged, and threatened to beat the caregiver's ass, and his brother's ass into the bargain. Elderly Relative A (who, I should point out, is blind) threatened to blow Elderly Relative B's head off with a shotgun if he ever again darkened his door. The caregiver, fearing, not so much that Elderly Relative A would blow Elderly Relative B's head off on purpose, as that he might blow her head off by accident, promptly hid the shotgun. On making inquiries as to the presence of the shotgun, the caregiver told Elderly Relative A that she didn't know what happened to it. Elderly Relative A immediately concluded that Elderly Relative B must have snuck into the house and stolen that, too, which assumption led to a new round of charges and threats of mutual ass beatings. Both men are in their eighties.

Elderly Relative A's third wife died recently. Elderly Relative A had her interred in the cemetery of an old country church; however, whereas the mortal remains of the existing residents have all been capped by modest headstones, Elderly Relative A erected a gaudy mausoleum, which rather creates the effect of a McMansion plopped down in a neighborhood of ageing vinyl-sided ranchers. It was not, though, the aesthetic issues that roused the ire of Elderly Relative C, sister of Elderly Relative A. No, her wrath was ignited by the fact that, in the preparation of the foundation or slab for the mausoleum, a large amount of dirt had been unceremoniously dumped on an adjoining plot, in which reside the earthly remains of the mother of Elderly Relatives A, B and C. After much heated discussion (almost certainly featuring more promises of ass beatings), Elderly Relative A finally consented to paying for the clean-up of their mother's plot.

And, believe it or not, my friends, the foregoing is the merest scratching of the surface of the high drama and low comedy that have characterized the Paco tribe since time immemorial.

It wasn't all bad, however. My family attended a cookout thrown by my brother and his brood, and we all had a merry time (the event being greatly enhanced by my sister-in-law's outstanding culinary skills). Also, Mrs. Paco and I have granddaughter Maggie with us for a week or so, which always gives us joy (on the trip back from North Carolina, 3-year-old Maggie kept repeating the cryptic sentence, "I have a plan" - ominous, in a way, since these are the very words uttered by many Pacos over the years preparatory to launching some project that inevitably turns into an epic, though usually comic, disaster).

Monday, August 3, 2015

Will be offline for a few days

Make yourselves at home in the comments section.

Sunday, August 2, 2015

I'd like some irony, please...

...and supersize it: Gun Used in Terror Attack on Mohammed Cartoon Contest Sold Through Operation Fast and Furious.

Sunday funnies

Update and bumped to top of post: If you're in the mood for a little provocation...

Highly imaginative real estate.

Kayaking on a budget (via Funny Pictures)...

Key and Peele in "The Post-Apocalyptic Hunt".

Hmmm...interesting coincidence: "Police in Georgia said a bullet fired at an armadillo ricocheted off the animal's armored hide and struck the shooter's mother-in-law."

From the Dept. of Too Much Time on Your Hands: the slinky escalator.

Have trouble getting out of bed in the morning? Problem solved.

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Yeah, that'll send a clear message to the terrorists

Navy Lieutenant Commander (and hero, in my book) Timothy White, who fired back at that jihadist creep in Chattanooga, is going to be charged with illegally discharging a firearm on federal property.

Read it and weep (or, better, read it and protest vigorously).

Navy's new motto: Damn the torpedoes and run like hell.

That can't be

Since when has Hillary Clinton ever been subject to the laws of God or man?
"A federal judge has ordered Hillary Clinton and two of her top aides at the State Department, Huma Abedin and Cheryl Mills, to attest, under penalty of perjury, that they have turned over all official government records in their possession."