Today's fantasy

If only...

Fun day

Yesterday we took Maggie on the Ft. Fisher ferryboat for a return trip to the aquarium. I have a sneaking suspicion that she is at least as interested in cajoling grandma and grandpa into buying her another plush toy at the gift shop as she is at looking at the coastal and marine specimens at the park (which we did, of course).

Good to get out of the car and catch the breeze off the Cape Fear River...




It was still pretty hot, so we spent most of our time on the boat in the air-conditioned lounge...




I love these little guys...




I don't love these little guys, though they're pretty to look at (poisonous tree frogs)...




Imagining what it must have been like to wind up as a Megalodon's breakfast...




This feathered horror is an animated model of a Utahraptor, although it looks like the result of an experiment gone horribly wrong down on one of Tyson Chicken's farms...




As I say, it was very hot and humid, but one difference I note between here and Northern Virginia is that, when the sun goes down along the coast, thanks to the constant breezes blowing in off the ocean, the evenings are extraordinarily pleasant - whereas in N. VA, the nights can continue to be sticky hot.

Break out the holy water

Or maybe bring back the stake.

The NRA's newest foe? Witchcraft.

Update: History - learn from it or repeat it.

That's a relief

Following up on my earlier post on Washington: Psychopath Capital of the United States, here's more information on the country as a whole. Note that North Carolina is the fourth least psychopathic state (in anticipation of Steve Skubinna's likely question, no, I'm not aware that the state has slipped a notch since I moved here).


"Welcome to Connecticut!"

Oooooo!

General Porky Pig goes full Godwin.



"Trump is just like the nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh...the Fascists!"

Yeah, let me know how that turns out

House Oversight Chairman Trey Gowdy: "GOP WILL HIT DOJ WITH ‘FULL ARSENAL’ IF THEY IGNORE SUBPOENAS".

Bearing in mind the GOP Congress's track record in bringing Democrats and their sympathizers to justice, let's take a look at that arsenal...







Not overly intimidating.

Sorry to be so cynical, but I've watched with mounting frustration as a long, shuffling, uncoordinated conga line of Republican committee chairmen have proved to be long on talk and short on action when it comes to asserting their oversight responsibilities and getting results. Wake me when they put the cuffs on Strozk, Comey or McCabe.

Happy Father's Day!

A salute to all you dads out there, doing one of the hardest jobs there is.

Matt "Guitar" Murphy

From commenter John Snider comes the sad news of the passing of Matt "Guitar" Murphy.

Here's a video clip of Murphy, Memphis Slim and Bill Stepny performing at the 1963 European Blues Festival.

Sunday funnies

Your basic octopus is not a big fan of "forgive and forget".




Abe to Merkel (via Powerline's "The Week in Pictures")...




Rare driving maneuver (at least, one hopes it's rare)...




Did you ever wonder where fashion designers get their ideas?




Bartender: What'll you have?

Man: Whiskey.

Bartender: What kind?

Man: Give me some of that stuff flavored with beaver secretions.


Special purpose real estate.

Who's surprised? Let's see a show of hands.

"Washington, D.C., harbors the greatest share of psychopaths in the US".

Hope he means it

Update and bumped. Ugh! Guess he didn't: "President Donald Trump Supports Paul Ryan’s Amnesty Bill".

President Trump announced today that he would not sign House Speaker Ryan's immigration bill.

Good. Ryan's bill looks like nothing so much as a gigantic "We're Sorry" card for the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo.

Happy Feet Friday

Cab's boys are holding out for a 15-minute intermission.

Thin layer of whitewash

The Inspector General's report is out, and the facts as spelled out in the document do not support some of the conclusions - the most notorious conclusion being no evidence of political bias on the part of Comey et al. Nonetheless, the facts, in and of themselves, are pretty damning and underscore the need for a thorough reform of the FBI.

Update: Veeshir, in the comments -

My solution still stands. Fire everybody above GS-9 in the Dept. of "Justice" and replace them with Judicial Watch employees. Use Freepers to fill out the numbers if necessary.

Update II: More from Powerline's John Hinderaker. Money quote:

A common theme of the FBI employees’ responses to the IG’s questions is that, yes, they certainly were Hillary Clinton partisans; and yes, they absolutely detested Donald Trump; and, too, they thought Trump voters were beneath contempt and Trump’s election would threaten the survival of the republic. But those were only their private political views, and didn’t affect the judgments they made while investigating Hillary’s obviously illegal server on the one hand, and the Trump campaign’s nonexistent alliance with Russia on the other. Right.

No one can read the vicious, hateful, over-the-top partisan vitriol that FBI employees directed against Donald Trump–Strzok and Page are not the only ones quoted in the IG’s report–and give any credence to that claim. These high-ranking FBI agents were politicized to the core and were determined to do anything they could to secure their candidate’s election. Failing that, they plunged into the faux Russia election story in hopes of discrediting President Trump or even, as they explicitly discussed, bringing about his impeachment.

Happy Flag Day!

Long may it wave over a free America!

"Wake up, Punchy!"

President Trump Tweet-stomps ("Twomps"?) Robert De Niro.

I also note that Trump got off a zinger against Mark Sanford (who wound up losing his primary in South Carolina).

Assortment

Tucker Carlson bitch slaps the increasingly deranged Bill Kristol.

Haw! "Trump used the [G-7] summit basically as a stop to refuel Air Force One on his way to Singapore. He refused to sign their silly communique about carbon dioxide and gender equality."

Probably not: "Can the GOP Establishment Stop Being Idiots Just Once?"

A good start: "Austria announces plans to close several mosques, deport dozens of imams".

Has-been actor and attention junkie contributes his two cents to Donald Trump's reelection campaign (hilariously more from Mark Steyn).

Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey commits the ultimate Fascist sacrilege: he eats a Chick-Fil-A sandwich.

Related...



Update - Robert de Niro: man of stature.

Update: Oops! Robert De Niro's "moral authority" takes another hit:

Six people are charged with the running of an international prostitution ring, whose call-girls entertained the actor Robert de Niro, the former tennis player, Wojtek Fibak, two senior (but unnamed) French politicians and several Gulf princes. The agency specialised in tricking, or trapping, star-struck teenage girls into selling their bodies with the promise of careers as models or actresses.

New listing!

Paco Enterprises' real estate sales subsidiary - Get Real(ty), LLC - is proud to offer for your consideration this wonderful starter home in the countryside near Burgaw, North Carolina. Just bring the family, your furniture, and, er, four walls and a roof and you're good to go. Contact us for a tour!



Update: I took the photo above after completing the pistol qualification portion of my concealed carry training (the property is a few miles up the road from the private range). The ruin is next to a beautiful horse farm. The area really is "out yonder"; lost my GPS signal three times on the way out there.

I've heard of a roving eye...

...but not a roving eyebrow.

Reminds me of a somewhat embarrassing incident that happened to me 10 years or so ago. I was attending my federal agency's annual conference at some swank hotel in D.C., and, partly as a joke, partly in a sincere effort to pull off an incognito appearance so as to avoid the attention of the usual crowd of whiny clients, I wore sunglasses and a fake mustache that a colleague had given me as a gag gift for my birthday (a specimen in the handlebar family) . It seemed to be working, until I took my sunglasses off for a moment to rub my eyes, and was immediately recognized by a loan officer from one of our most active banking partners. She was (and is) a very vivacious lady, originally from Brazil, and she just had to take the opportunity to introduce me to the president of one of Argentina's largest banks. The gentleman - tall, distinguished-looking, immaculately dressed - smiled and extended his hand. I went to shake hands with him and also smiled. It was at this point that the mustache dropped off my face and fell to the floor. Not unlike the Argentinian gentleman's jaw. So, in case you were wondering, there are sound reasons why you never saw me gracing the cover of Forbes magazine, or read of me rising to the highest levels of government or finance.

Sunday funnies

Looks like an appetizing place...



Meet the Invisible Man.

You can't get there from here.

[The two links immediately above courtesy of David Thompson].

It's time for the annual Stella Awards!

Sour grapes: "South Dakota sheriff loses re-election, fires winning deputy".

Guns are back in Australia: water pistols, that is.


From Powerline's "The Week in Pictures"...




The Devoted Wife

A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care of her husband. Now he had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to senses, he motioned for her to come near him.

As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"

"What dear?" she asks gently.

"I think you bring me bad luck."

June sale!

Progressivism is largely a function of inadequate mental capacity. Paco Enterprises, in the spirit of public service, is happy to offer a solution.

So, lefties, come and gitcha some! And I ain't talkin' donuts.



Update: Sorry we were sold out by the time you got there, Bill. But don't lose hope: more brains are on order!

Sad news

Charles Krauthammer has revealed that he only has weeks to live.

I did not always agree with Mr. Krauthammer (although I did, usually), but I always considered him to be an eminently reasonable and even-tempered voice in the major political debates of our time, and his poise, eloquence and dry wit made watching him a must. I pray that God will ease his suffering and comfort him and his family.

The progressive view

The only sensible form of gun control is confiscation. Hey, it worked in the Soviet Union.





See?

(First image via Western Rifle Shooters Association)

Happy Feet Friday

Those wonderful harmonizers, the Ink Spots, make with the Java Jive.

Out and about (click to enlarge)

Monday we traveled to Dinwiddie, Virginia to celebrate young Cal's first birthday at the home of his mother's parents, a lovely place way out in the country. Here's Cal demonstrating the suave and elegant table manners typical of members of the Paco clan.



On the outskirts of Goldsboro, I saw this interesting sign.



I imagine that's the place where the local rough 'n ready crowd gather to drink rotgut and playfully carve each other up between songs on the jukebox. Or used to anyway...



Seems like it may be closed for remodeling.


We picked up Maggie and brought her back to stay with us for a few weeks in Southport. At a rest stop in Warsaw, North Carolina, there's an artillery piece on permanent display. This photo provides an extremely useful illustration of the relative sizes of the average six-year-old girl and a WWII-era 150mm howitzer.



Here, Maggie contemplates the mighty Cape Fear River.




And - sependipity! - I finally stumbled across this a few miles from home. Should greatly facilitate "staying on it".

Andrew Klavan believes the Democrats are descending into farce

I think they're descending into madness.

Of course, there's no reason both assertions can't be true.

The FBI continues to cover itself with glory

While busting some moves at a club, FBI agent's gun "goes off", shoots other bar patron. Click through to the original news article; the video is not to be missed (kind of like the other patron's leg).

Update - Steve at the Pub, in the comments:

He should have checked his piece in with the government sponsored for-profit outfit called the Pistol And Carbine Orderly.

Now he'll be facing the Probity And Competence Office, where he'll face a Pretty Awkward Clarification Obligation, likely resulting in his Professional And Career Obituary, or what is to the rest of us, a Perfectly Acceptable Career Outcome.

I'm proud to announce that Steve is now Senior Vice President of Acronymns.

Where's the giant gorilla when you need him?

"Empire State Building Shines Orange for Gun Control".

Happy birthday, little big man!

Grandson Cal celebrated his first birthday yesterday.



Grandpa says: "Get a haircut, kid!"

Sunday funnies

Run on down to the Toyota dealership and gitcha one.



Yeah, that works: "Woman Changes Kid's Name After Misspelled Tattoo".

This funeral home packs you away with such skill and delicacy, your shade might wonder if you've actually departed...



Realtors are a sturdy breed. So are their signs.


Moose hazard.


New York Daily News reporter, who claimed that shooting a .223 gave him the vapors, is taken to task hilariously mocked by 14-year-old girl.

God's wisdom...




An alternative to Twitter...




And finally, from Powerline's "The Week in Pictures"...

That's how you get more Trump, padre

Not to mention more protestants: "Jesuit Priest Tells Catholics to Fight Abortion by Electing ‘Pro-Choice Democrats’".

If it will help the cause of international peace, I'll cover it

"TRUMP’S TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO COVER KIM JONG UN’S HOTEL BILL IN SINGAPORE".

Let's see, let me dive into the Singapore yellow pages...Hmmm....Motel 6...Motel 6...

Know your gun history

An interesting article on the WWII-era S&W M&P Victory Revolver.

Update: Bad link fixed. Thanks for the tip, Veeshir.

Happy Feet Friday

Bud, you need to straighten up and fly right - or so say the Andrews Sisters.

Assortment

President Trump to pardon Dinesh D'Souza.

We can only hope: "The words 'deep state' evoke images of evil geniuses carrying out schemes in hollowed-out mountains with submarine entrances. What if they’re not that smart, though? Just malicious?"

An outcome devoutly to be wished...



Britain: going...going...

If you think Florida Man is quite the character, wait until you meet Florida Woman (seriously, though, I hope she gets the help she needs).

Obama advisor and Hillary supporter Ben Rhodes learns there ain't no Santa Claus (or if there is, he decided Ben should be on the naughty list).

Google: just tellin' it like it ain't.

We really need to soundproof the attic; ol' Uncle John is making those strange noises again.

Possible job potential for a retiree?

Susan Rice: Where did I go wrong?

Darned kids. Always rebelling against their parents. Seems that John David Rice-Cameron, the son of Obama administration fixture, Susan "The Video Made them Do It" Rice, is a conservative Republican. And not just any conservative Republican: he's the pro-Trump president of Stanford's College Republicans.

Update: Friend and commenter Isophorone pointed out that the original link was busted. I have replaced it with a link to a different article on the same subject. For some reason, Fox News links always seem to break after a short while.

Good advice

"Never, ever, ever trust a member of the Washington DC UniParty."

I worked in commercial banking for years, and whenever a loan officer announced that he or she was quitting to take a position with another bank, there was no nonsense about letting them hang around. They would formally give two weeks notice, and then be ushered out of the bank within 24 hours of announcing that they were resigning. The bank didn't want them around to crib information to take with them for future business development, so out they went. And no hard feelings; everyone knew that's how it worked.

I devoutly wish that, once a senator or congressman announced his retirement, a figurative (or even a literal) trapdoor would open up under his feet, so that he could be shot immediately out onto the pavement. He could even be permitted to hang on to as much loot as he could cradle in his arms. Just get rid of him.

The Onion is now obsolete

Yet another piece of multi-culti stupidity out of Not-So-Great-Britain: "London cyclists too white, male and middle class, says capital's cycling chief in vow to tackle diversity 'problem'".

Yes, that's right. London has a "cycling commissioner". And there's a "problem" (you knew there had to be):

Too few women and people from ethnic minority groups cycle in London and more must be done to promote diversity among a largely white, male and middle class biking community, the city’s walking and cycling commissioner has said.

I suppose you could force white men off of their bicycles at gun-point (or perhaps "baton-point", since this is gun-phobic England, after all) and hand the bicycles over to women and favored minorities. But can these people be compelled to ride them? I know: threaten them with "breaching the peace" if they refuse to start riding.

The next big problem: how to get over the hazard of burkhas getting tangled up in the pedals.

Noooooooooo!!!!

"Cindy McCain Likely to Succeed Husband John McCain in Senate".

Enough with husband/wife dynasties, please.

Don't forget scissors, your honor

"Judge calls for 10in pointed kitchen knives to be ground down to a rounded end after hearing three serious stabbing cases in last three months".

Too bad there's no one around to Make Britain Great Again. Quite the opposite, as the arrest of activist Tommy Robinson and the government-mandated news blackout surrounding him illustrates. More from Mark Steyn here, and Robert Spencer here.

Memorial Day

In honor of those who gave all.

Curses! All is discovered!

A sharp progressive has picked up on the fact that square dancing is a "tool of white supremacy".

Someone better notify our most prominent agent to lie low for a while.

Sunday funnies

Wanted: dairy farmers with really small hands.

Hey, I didn't need instruction to learn this method of surviving a knife attack...




It's on! Millenial vs. Baby Boomer...




Guy attacks Brit Hume in a three-word Tweet, gets two-thirds of it wrong.


"You can't say that, comrade."

"Why?"

"Because it's true".



Via Powerline's "The Week in Pictures"

The "London-to-Langley Spy Ring"

An interesting piece in The American Spectator by George Neumayr on British/American collusion in the affair President Trump has designated "Spygate".

I wonder what the shade of Kim Philby has to say about all this?



"Amateurs!"

Yeah, what's up with that?

Hillary was spotted in Boston today wearing a scarf and a heavy coat while the temperature climbed into the eighties.

My own theory is that her exoskeleton is in the shop for a lube job.

Speaking of Boston, the city's police commissioner had some pretty predictable things to say about guns, in comments he made about the recent House vote to liberalize concealed-carry laws. But what I really wanted to point out was this fellow's unusual physiognomy. He looks like the love child of Arwen Undómiel and Pa Kettle.

Clint Walker, RIP

I missed this by a few days, but wanted to note the passing of Clint Walker, one of my favorite TV western heroes. He'll always be Cheyenne, to me.

Happy Feet Friday

Here's Lowell Fulson from 1948 with some more of that proto-rock-and-roll.

Looks like the Dems have developed a winning platform

Via friend and commenter JeffS.

Pelosi is truly a witch. But she needs to be more careful in public: lately she's been gabbling her incantations out loud.

John Brennan, "Mastermind"

John Brennan's attempt at blowing up Trump's presidency looks to be about as successful as the pathetic scheme of Guy Fawkes. George Neumayer at The American Spectator covers Brennan's role in this farce in detail. I find it particularly hilarious that Brennan used a bogus tip from Estonia's intelligence agency to start the ball rolling. I wonder how that went?

The scene: John Brennan's bedroom, well past midnight.


"Psssst! John! Oh, Johhhhnnnnyyyy!"



"Z-z-z-z...*Cough!*...Ummm...Gus Hall, he's our man, if he can't do it, nobody can-n-n...Z-z-z-z..."



"Ach! Vat a kakker! Vake up, John! I haff news fur yew!"



"Huh? Wha...what's that? Who are you? How did you get in here?"



"I yam Estonian secret agent, at your service! Ve are ver' gewd at de late night sneakings."



"Gawrsh! An Estonian secret agent! So, Estonia...That's somewhere near the Bahamas, right?"



[Sotto voce: "Ach, sa oled idioot!"] "No, is Baltic Republic".



"Oh, so down around Serbia."



"Is BALTIC republic, not Balkan republic! Never mind. Listen. Yew haff great hatings for dis fellow Trump, yes?"



"Grrrrrr!"



"Gewd, gewd. I haff information dat yew can use against his presidential campaign. De Ruskis are giffing him much rubles. Yew take dat back to your FBI and tell, yes? Giff dis feller Trump much trouble."


"But how do I know this is true?"


"Yew haff vord of Estonian secret agent! Estonians never lie. Vell-known fact."


"But I don't even know your name or your position as an Estonian secret agent."


"Of course not! Vouldn't be a secret, denn, vould it?"


"Hmm. M'yes, you've got a point there. Thanks for the information. I'll get right on this."


"Jah, jah, yew do dat. You are needing anyt'ing else - more political secrets, birch firewood, dates vit' pretty Estonian girls whose favorite t'ings are including reindeer, herring sandwiches and taking de long valks on ice floes - ve are being glad to provide. Head aega, Johnny!"

* * * * * * * * *

The following morning...


"Ok, boss. The seed has been planted. The soil is not too deep, but there's plenty of fertilizer, so this idea looks like a winner."



"Excellent!"