Wednesday, August 31, 2016

And you might as well ignore that blue-black mole and that nagging cough

John Kerry: Let's just ignore terrorism, shall we?

Update - From Veeshir, in the comments:
Starting with the '96 election, the candidates have become progressively (pun intended) worse and worse.

If you plot the trajectory on a graph, you find that by 2024 the candidates will be a Papa John's pizza running against Wednesday.

You might get guns off the strret

But what are you going to do about the invincible ignorance and the insanely violent temperaments? A public defender describes his profession (and announces his departure from it).

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Rip Van Clinton

According to a former staffer, Hillary "sleeps approximately 18 hours a day. And some days, she sleeps more."

I can now see how that three a.m. telephone call scenario is going to play out...






Z-z-z...*Snort*...*Cough! Cough!*...Damned Bill!...Must've forgotten his key again...Leaning on the f***ing door bell...*Yawn*... Bastard can just sleep on the porch....



You snooze, you lose

"North Korea executed two top officials with anti-aircraft gun".

One of the unfortunates was Ri Yong-jin, a senior official in the education ministry:
Ri, according to the source, "incurred the wrath of Kim after he dozed off during a meeting presided over by Kim. He was arrested on site and intensively questioned by the state security ministry. He was executed after other charges such as corruption were found during the probe."
Good lord! I suppose if an official farts at a meeting they tie him over the mouth of a cannon.

Monday, August 29, 2016

Gag worthy

Like Plan 9 From Outer Space, only without the 10th rate special effects: Southside With You.

Future cult classic? Statistical probability = 0. Frankly, I'd rather watch a movie about Nixon's first date.

Heads up, mates

If Trump wins, Barbra Streisand plans on moving to Australia.

What you ought to do is try to interest her in swimming near the Great Barrier Reef, slathered in that well-known shark repellent, bacon fat.

Sunday, August 28, 2016

Sunday funnies

Canada needs a wall. Or maybe a submarine net: "Hundreds Of Drunk Americans Washed Ashore In Canada Because Of Strong Winds".

Sometimes laziness is the mother of invention.

Here's another possible future Olympic event: mobile phone throwing.

Bad lip reading at the Democratic National Convention...

Want to play ping-pong but can't remember where you left the paddles? No problem.

(H/T: Jerry Jones and Moonbattery)

Friday, August 26, 2016

Happy Feet Friday

Duke Ellington and his band, from the late 1930's, perform Battle of Swing.

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Dubious distinction

If Hillary gets elected, I suppose, as a government employee, I'll go from being merely a cog in the executive branch of government to being a member of the largest organized crime syndicate in history.

So, good thing I've got a closet full of fedoras and double-breasted suits. Might as well look the part.

Update: See what I mean?

With my luck, I'll probably wind up discovering the world's largest lump of pyrite

A fisherman in the Philippines discovered a giant pearl that may be worth one hundred million dollars.

Granny Clinton sees ghosts

No, wait. Not ghosts. People wearing sheets.

Disgraceful, even by Clinton standards. Especially considering her own stated fondness for a former Klansman.

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Caroline Glick on James Bond villain wanna-be, George Soros

My question is, just what the hell is he after? How does destabilizing western democracies lead to a better world?

If I had to venture a guess, I'd say that Soros wants a world controlled by a small elite, predictable and tidy, free from the messiness of individual liberty. Seems to me, though, that that kind of thing was tried on a large scale in the 20th century by various "visionaries", with rather negative results. The last thing we need is a revolutionary billionaire with a god complex.

Probably just a rounding error

"U.S. Army fudged its accounts by trillions of dollars, auditor finds".
The United States Army’s finances are so jumbled it had to make trillions of dollars of improper accounting adjustments to create an illusion that its books are balanced.

The Defense Department’s Inspector General, in a June report, said the Army made $2.8 trillion in wrongful adjustments to accounting entries in one quarter alone in 2015, and $6.5 trillion for the year. Yet the Army lacked receipts and invoices to support those numbers or simply made them up.
Simply made them up. Maybe I'll try that the next time I do my taxes, see what happens.


Another case of "mental illness", this time in Roanoke, Virginia: "Muslim screaming 'Allahu akbar' stabs two people, seriously injuring them".

Monday, August 22, 2016

Turn it around

What if one of Trump's assistants showed up as an editor on the masthead of some extremist publication - say, Aryan Nation Monthly or KKK Kwarterly - do you suppose he or she would be afforded the "no active role" excuse?

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Abbreviated Sunday funnies

Very busy weekend, so I didn't have time to compile a proper list of funnies; however, this photoshop (if it is, in fact, a photoshop) can stand in for the regular feature...

Courtesy of Drudge

Friday, August 19, 2016

At the risk of sounding like a broken record...

Guns and ammo. Get 'em while you can.

Head of DHS says Obama can't make it to Louisiana because he's too busy

Breitbart hilariously juxtaposes another comment from Jeh Johnson - "When you are the chief executive of the entire U.S. government, you can’t be everywhere..." - with this photo (Saul Loeb/AFP/Getty Images):

Happy Feet Friday

Billie Holiday sings a soulful version of Summertime.

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Joe Biden continues to impress

The VP managed to insult Japan and to compliment the Serbian prime minister on his "positive vision for the future of Croatia".

And this is the funniest thing I've read all week: "JOE BIDEN Welcomed to Serbia With MASSIVE RALLY FOR TRUMP".

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

No, Msgr. Swetland, we are not compelled to meekly offer our throats to the assassin

Nor is such an idiotic notion a dogmatic requirement:
Msgr. Swetland contends that statements of recent Popes to the effect that Islam is a religion of peace fall into the category of teachings to which Catholics must give “religious assent,” as per the Second Vatican Council document Lumen Gentium, which states: “In matters of faith and morals, the bishops speak in the name of Christ and the faithful are to accept their teaching and adhere to it with a religious assent.”
To which I offer the theological response, "Bollocks!" Robert Spenser provides a more eloquent rebuttal.

H/T: Captain Heinrichs

Yeah, we sure don't want Trump getting his hand on the nukes

Do we, Slow Joe?

It's all about going green

Or rather, getting your hands on the green: "Soros Paid Al Gore MILLIONS To Push ‘Aggressive US Action’ On Global Warming".

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Gimme some!

Whooo, doggies! Sure wish I had one of these! As Big Daddy says, shootin' one of these will put a grin on your face, like a mule eatin' briars.

Yeah, maybe I'll get me one...some day :)

Sunday, August 14, 2016

Individual liberty - it's now like pork bellies

An interesting blog post at the Rio Norte Line discusses freedom's gradual conversion into a commodity. (H/T: Mr. G)

Not sure how I missed this

In July, the Virginia Supreme court struck down Governor Terry McLowlife's attempt to create 200,000 new Democrat voters.

Mind-boggling corruption

It's been in the news for the last few days that the FBI, working with U.S. prosecutors in NY, is investigating the Clinton Foundation, particularly the evidence of "pay-to-play" rules that appear to have led to massive influence peddling with Hillary Clinton while she was Secretary of State. Clarice Feldman has a good summary (drawing primarily from the superb investigative work of Richard Pollock of The Daily Caller).

I had heard about the Russians acquiring a large chunk of U.S. uranium reserves through this display of crony capitalism, but I did not know that some of the numbers were so staggering:
Nine shareholders in Uranium One just happened to provide more than $145 million in donations to the Clinton Foundation in the run-up to State Department approval.
One hundred and forty-five million dollars. It makes the Teapot Dome scandal looked like a mere purse-snatching.

Sunday funnies

Does this reindeer taste funny to you?

Coincidence of the year: "Train car derails in Iowa, hits bar called DeRailed".

I would have guessed Wisconsin, for some reason: "A Wisconsin man has his prosthetic leg back after the lost limb was discovered sticking out of a beaver dam by two canoers."

Good news? A gas station in Tatarstan gives free gas to bikini wearing customers. Bad news? All bikini wearing customers.

The Compleat Angler tattoo...

Maybe this ought to be an Olympic event: synchronized wind tunnel flying.

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Kim Rhodes, Olympic champion and unabashed defender of the Second Amendment

“We should have the right to keep and bear arms, to protect ourselves and our family,” she says. “The Second Amendment was put in there not just so we can go shoot skeet or go shoot trap. It was put in so we could defend our First Amendment, the freedom of speech, and also to defend ourselves against our own government.”

Amen, sister.

Friday, August 12, 2016

Happy Feet Friday

The great Charlie Christian joins Benny Goodman and friends on Airmail Special.

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

To borrow from P.G. Wodehouse...

...Hillary looks as if she's been "stuffed in a hurry by an incompetent taxidermist".

What's that old saying?

When you subsidize something, you get more of it?


Looks like Iran just discovered a way to substantially boost its cash flow.

"Huh. And they call us tools"

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Picture, thousand words

DoublePlusUndead has a wonderful picture post up, well worth a look.

My personal favorite...

One hand washes the other

But they still remain remarkably dirty: "Top Clinton Foundation Official Revealed to Have Asked Clinton Aides for 'Favors' for Donors".

Another distinguished Clinton supporter noticed

Seddique Mateen, father of the man who carried out the Orlando nightclub massacre, shows up at a Hillary rally.

Monday, August 8, 2016


Looks like Hillary's keeper is totin' a tranqulizer dart gun to calm her down.

Actor James woods identifies Hillary's principal demographic support.

Um, no, Joy Reid of MSNBC, I don't think "most people" are the dumb ones, here.

Woman attempts to hitchhike through Middle East in a gesture of peace. It does not end well, at all.

Tim Blair imagines the Australian census questions a decade hence.

Congratulations to Ginny Thrasher, the first American to win a gold medal at the 2016 Olympics. She won -Gasp!- the 10-meter air rifle event (a sad and ironic tribute to our bloody gun culture, thought every liberal everywhere).

The National Institutes of Health may not be able to find enough money to deal with the Zika virus, but thank God they were able to scrounge up enough dough to fund "anti-obesity rap songs for kids" and "research monitoring the eye movements of men to study how they look at women when they are drinking".

He may or may not be an a**hole, but he's definitely a dumbass.

So, what do you say to Senator Michelle Obama?

Sunday, August 7, 2016

Sunday funnies

I'll take two (and a large order of fries).

Let the truck pulling begin: "Rednecks hold their blanking Summer Games".

Yet another competition: "Russian Army Crew Tears Apart And Rebuilds UAZ-469 in Four Minutes".

Come and get it!

Penguin shows how to deal with stalker...

We all need one of these...

Friday, August 5, 2016

Hillary backer distinguishes himself

Fairfax mayor R. Scott Silverthorne has been arrested in a meth-for-sex sting operation.

He's a Democrat (of course; this is Occupied Northern Virginia, after all) and a member of Mayors for Hillary.

Update: R-man, in the comments - "Meth-heads for Hillary".

Happy Feet Friday

Erskine Hawkins and his orchestra rip out on Holiday for Swing.

Thursday, August 4, 2016

The pussification of America

Clint Eastwood sounds off.

Et tu, Forbes?

I used to enjoy the magazine's comprehensive coverage of business and economics, and found it to be far superior to Fortune and Business Week. Back when I was a regular reader, however, it was still a flawed magazine, primarily because publisher Malcolm Forbes insisted on inserting occasional pieces that highlighted his atrocious prose style, and his esteem for commie hucksters like Armand Hammer and for the ironically-named People for the American Way struck a decidedly sour note.

I haven't read the thing for years, and DoublePlusUndead leads me to believe that, at least lately, I've spared myself some considerable annoyance. Here, he fisks a recent article that attempts to whitewash the revoltingly mendacious and corrupt IRS chief, John Koskinen.

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

This certainly ought to be more beneficial than a bunch of congressmen going on a "fact-finding" mission to Jamaica

"US police chiefs visit Israel to learn counter-terrorism techniques".
Citing Israel's preeminence in counter-terrorism operations in counter-terrorism operations, US police chiefs are visiting the country as part of an ADL delegation to learn advanced training techniques from Israel Police. Among the delegation are chiefs of the Orlando, Florida and San Bernadino, California, police departments, who recently witnessed unprecedented terrorist attacks in their cities.
Hey, not a moment too soon: "A veteran police officer with one of the nation's most prominent transit systems appeared in federal court today in connection to charges that he tried to help ISIS."

Trump unfit to be president?

Oh, I think we'd probably survive.

Monday, August 1, 2016

Sure lookin' forward to that

click to enlarge...

Via the wonderful Hope n' Change Cartoons blog.

This idiot

John B. Alexander - that's John B. Alexander, Ph.D, to you; plus, "Retired Senior Military Officer" and "Retired Los Alamos Laboratory" - opines that ISIS and the NRA are really very much alike. The similarities?
- Institutionally, both organizations are remorseless about the deaths of victims
- Both use fear and intimidation to obtain their objectives
- Both assume their ideology is superior to the wishes of the majority of citizens
- Both have intensely loyal followers
- Both recruit and indoctrinate members who are ignorant of the basic facts
- Both are relatively small organizations that have impact far beyond their size
- Neither organization will apologize for the harm they cause
You know what else that list of characteristics fits, for the most part?

- the Democratic Party
- Hillary Clinton
- many trade unions
- the Obama administration
- the gang-bangers who are running amok in many large cities, such as Chicago, that are governed by Democratic Party politicians

Elsewhere, the Brits are displaying their (apparently) ISIS-like tendencies by favoring the legalization of the private ownership of handguns (H/T: Captain Heinrichs).

Update: Don't miss R-man's excellent fisking of Dr Alexander's bunkum in the comments.